Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your hear and do not lean on your own understanding; In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

I chose this verse for the oil that I use every day because it has carried me through some of the hardest seasons of my life.

The first time this verse truly anchored me was when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. It was one of the darkest times of my life. I hate to admit it, but I was even angry with God as I watched my dad get sicker, despite all of us praying so fervently for his healing. I still don't understand why he was taken from us so early, but I do know that God is the reason I didn't completely fall apart.

Years later, when Evie was diagnosed, I found myself slipping back into that same struggle. I consumed myself with research and was overwhelmed with sadness over the issues with her eye. Instead of being still and trusting God, I spent nearly two years exhausting myself by reading medical studies and crying almost every day. God had already led us to the right doctor, but I was relying on my own research and my own understanding. I ended up taking her to two additional doctors because I thought I could somehow find a different answer.

The first doctor we saw was Dr. Herce, and looking back, I can clearly see God's hand in that appointment. I had actually called to schedule with a different doctor, but the office told me he would be retiring soon. They suggested that if Evie might need long-term care or surgery, I should see someone else instead. That's how we ended up with Dr. Herce.

All along, I kept praying for God to heal Evie. What I didn't realize was that He was answering my prayers by working through Dr. Herce's hands.

After waiting to see if Evie would improve on her own, we realized surgery was necessary. Before making the final decision, I fasted for three days and prayed that God would clearly guide me. I felt led to take her back to Texas Children's, where we had first met Dr. Herce and where she had originally told us surgery would likely be needed.

These surgeries are usually scheduled months in advance because the doctors' schedules are so full. Yet when Dr. Herce asked the nurse to check the schedule, there was an opening just one week later. Looking back, I truly believe God knew it needed to happen quickly because I might have let fear convince me to back out if I had been given more time.

When we arrived for Evie's pre-op appointment, the nurse opened the door with a smile and said, "Hi, my name is Janice." My mom's name is Janice. It felt like another gentle reminder that God was with us. Then, once we were in the exam room, another nurse told me that Dr. Herce was an incredible surgeon and that if one of her own children needed this surgery, she would want Dr. Herce to perform it. In that moment, I knew God had gone before us and that this was exactly where we were supposed to be.

That entire week, I experienced a peace that I can't fully explain—a peace I hadn't felt in a very long time. Evie's surgery went perfectly, and I am so thankful that I finally stopped trying to figure everything out on my own and surrendered it all to God.

Now, when I look at Evie, I am filled with gratitude and awe. She is one tough little girl. Not being able to see straight never slowed her down, and through her story, God has taught me what it truly means to trust Him. This verse reminds me every day to be still, to surrender my own understanding, and to remember that God's plans are always greater than my own.